Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Let me give thanks

Dear Readers,

Since tomorrow is Thanksgiving Day in my sometimes hapless homeland, and since it seems to be as de rigueur as the ginormous fowl itself, I've been thinking of the things I'm grateful for.

I adore my two puckish children, regardless of the fact that for nigh on ten years they still feel the need to burst into the bathroom and watch me pee.

I love my husband--if for no other reason than he's the only man with whom I could ever envision adventuring into the great golden maw of the American Frontier in a covered wagon. I'm serious.

I have many dear and wonderful friends--and an awesome brother--who, despite knowing me, choose to admit it.

I have all my teeth. And most of my senses.

But perhaps the thing I am most thankful for is that I am not, nor will I ever be--so help me God--this woman:

No, it's not a narrow-minded, gossip-mongering garden gnome
or a steerage passenger on the Lusitania--
it's the MIL

Nor will I, thankfully, ever don footwear like this (even on my deathbed in the midst of a nuclear holocaust when the only thing that'd save me would be clonking the heels of my immigrant-issue men's clodhoppers together while croaking, "There's no place like home"):

Jimmy Choo, hardly

So to all you Turkey Day revelers out there and others with plenty to be thankful for, I wish you a wonderful holiday. Now get thee to a monstrous mound of mashed potatoes, pronto!




  1. Oh, but she's adorable (in an old world sort of kitchy way)!

  2. are naughty....

    she looks like a lovely woman...the type you could just spend the day lunch..sweeping...lots of sweeping...

    too funny

    happy thanksgiving!

  3. I suppose I am an ornery critter, aren't I, ladies? But you have no idea of the havoc this little hobgoblin has wreaked on my expat psyche for the past ten years. I swear, sometimes I think I need post-traumatic stress counseling.

    Joking around is my way of dealing with the pain.

  4. Anonymous6:57 PM

    Campobello, the photo is killer. Is that a ray of light surrounding the MIL, or is Scotty beaming her up? Happy Thankgiving from the Old World, Papaya

  5. LOL Papaya! You have an uncanny eye. That ethereal white field around the MIL is either a heavenly benediction for her professional-grade sweeping of the driveway--or a pesky reflection of the curtain adorning the window I took pains to snap photos from, unseen and unbidden ;)

  6. Anonymous5:15 AM

    Let us not forget she is a Mother, a friend and a wife to someone too, you know? I have read a lot of your posts and I really do enjoy your story so far. I just want to pause here and say this picture reminds me of my great grandma. To ridicule someone's style of dress and the way she shows her affection breaks my heart.

    I too am an American citizen, going through the jure sanguinis process. This photo says a lot. It shows a hard working momma. We shouldn't judge her for being who she is! I'm sure she has stories like none other. I think you take for granted that she would probably share her last loaf of bread with you. Clean your dirty underwear and press your sons shirts. Am I right or no?

    With that being said I want to point out that your last name indicates that you are Armenian. Have you read into the history of Armenian women? Very strong, and very similar to Italian women except probably more entwined in abusive, constrictive relations. I can comment on this because my fiancé is in Yerevan right now. She is a strong young lady, with a masters degree but getting paid only $250 a month working two jobs.

    I'm a 22 year old Systems Administrator living on the east coast of the USA. While I may not be a master in the English language, I'm fluent in the technical jargon.

    I find it so intriguing that there is such a lack of male oriented blogs about expats in Italy. Anyway; I enjoy this blog and it inspires me to write my own story. Thanks.

    Be thankful.

    1. Thanks for taking the time to comment. As I mentioned above in the comments, I'm JOKING around. I know I'm being a bit naughty, just blowing off steam. Like anyone, the MIL has her good points, but please let's not generalize here about hard-working salt-of-earth types and all that--you don't know her like I do! (And thank goodness for that ;-) ) She's the Queen of Passive Aggressive Bad Mojo. At least I'm up-front and write blog posts ;-)

      And I am thankful--I'm thankful that as I write this there's an ocean between me and this pantyhose-wearing Machiavelli.


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